Lady cries out as boyfriend always refers to her as ‘wife’ to his friends yet never proposes
A lady has voiced her frustration online over her boyfriend’s consistent habit of referring to her as his “wife” in social settings, despite the absence of a formal proposal or engagement.
The lady, whose has chosen to remain anonymous, shared her feelings of confusion and sadness regarding her partner’s repeated assertions of their marital status, particularly among his friends and acquaintances.
Despite being together for several years and sharing the responsibility of raising a child, the lady reveals that he has not yet taken the step towards official matrimony.
The issue came to light when the lady discovered that her boyfriend had been casually informing others that they were married, leading to misunderstandings and false assumptions about their relationship status.
“My boyfriend keeps calling me his wife and I have mixed feelings about it. His co-workers think we are married but we aren’t even engaged. Some extra information: We have been together for a few years now and we have a young child together. We both WANT to get married one day, he just hasn’t proposed yet (I really don’t care for an expensive ring or wedding but he has expressed the desire for us to spend more on these things) plus we are both busy with work, childcare, etc.
“I have jokingly suggested me proposing to him instead but based on his response he wants to be the one to propose. A few days ago we were talking about work and while he was quoting one of his co-workers he called me his wife. When I asked why that co-worker would say that he explained that his work thinks that we are married.
“My boyfriend continued to explain that it was mainly to stop other girls from flirting with him excessively (he’s a handsome guy and has had these issues before) and while I could understand where he was coming from I still felt kinda weird about it.
“This isn’t the only time he has called me his wife either, as he does so in private every once in awhile and sometimes when he is talking to friends who know we aren’t married yet. This is something he also did before our child was born and I’d often go “We aren’t married yet!” Or something along those lines in a playful tone. Recently he called me his wife again I told him I wasn’t his wife yet, which made him kind of sad and he told me that it hurt his feelings that I don’t want to be called his wife.
“I reiterated that I want to be his wife, but that we have to get married first and we aren’t even engaged yet, and we kind of just dropped it.On one hand I think it is sweet because he’s saying he knows I’m the one he wants to marry, but on the other hand I don’t like the idea of people I don’t really know (or people we DO know) being under the false impression that we are actually married, PLUS a small part of me is worried that he won’t ever actually propose because he is already in the mindset that we are married.
“While I don’t want an expensive ring or big wedding, I still want to have a small ceremony for friends/close family (and also, legally be married). It might seem a bit dramatic, but for the longest time my boyfriend didn’t even know what it meant to be engaged and thought we already were (this happened awhile ago and we talked about it, I already knew he had a rough childhood and is missing random bits of information so I wasn’t completely surprised).
“Am I making problems out of nothing? Otherwise, how do I have that conversation without making my boyfriend feel like I don’t want to marry him or like I’m angry with him because we aren’t married yet?Preemptively clarifying that I am absolutely not mad that we aren’t married/engaged yet, I just get a little annoyed that he’s telling people that we are. I also don’t mind being engaged for a prolonged amount of time and saving for a wedding he would be happy with.”
